I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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