how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
well most of my day revolves around power hour
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize