can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My feet surprised me
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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