Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
