just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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