you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize