so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
