Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
