Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
