Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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