we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
