Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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