I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She's the barista slut.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
