accomplished twins. life is a go
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
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