Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
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