I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
