You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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