if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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