I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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