So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
