How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
