Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
