yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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