Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
