also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
