This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I have aggressive nipples.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
