I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize