Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
