and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
