We won't sleep together?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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