In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So drunk its hurt
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
