they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
