spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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