You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
