nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
