she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
