Why are handjobs necessary in class?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
