at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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