ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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