i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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