I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
you inspire me to be a worse person
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize