how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
