i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
