What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
