for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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