I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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