I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
