this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
