I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
