Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
