I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
