Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize