yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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