your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Everyone says I win the strip club
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
send nudes
from the living room?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
