Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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