all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
