About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
