You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
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