I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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