I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
