I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
