it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
