dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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