there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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