ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
