I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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