I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
