ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
