my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
