Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
