He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
