a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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