i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize