oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
