does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
